Obituary for Betty Joan Howe (Loucks)
Eulogy for Betty Joan Howe
September 21, 1941 – January 28, 2021
“It is what it is” she would say after regaining her composure…she knew she had Alzheimer’s and could feel it taking a grip. She asked two things of us. #1) That we try everything medically to help her know her family for as long as possible. #2) That she be able to pass at home, with “her people”. Her family was her everything.
She adored her parents, Alvin and Helen Loucks and felt privileged to be a Daddy’s Girl growing up. She was proud of her brothers, and we would get a sense of how meaningful their spouses were by the way she would conjoin their names in conversation; it was “LarrynWiz”, and “GordnBettyLee”, all in one word. Through stories she gave life to the brother who lost his life young in a car accident…it was like “Bud” was a part of our family growing up and that name is still used in our family in a special way.
She met and married Ron Howe at a young age and her own family would reap benefits for decades with that head start. She brought three little “Hellions” into the world (her word as she chased us around the house with a fly swatter) and would parent a daughter as well. James and Wendy, Craig and Susan, David and Rose, Tammy and Theo would pay her back with the precious grandchildren and great grandchildren that meant, simply everything to her. She would form special and personal bonds with each of them. One might tattoo her name on his arm; another might still call the stuff you pour on pancakes “Dippety Do”. Another might go to work, and discover in a meeting that the word “byecky” is not really a word. She left her mark on them; her love for her grandchildren and great grandchildren was simple and pure.
She worked as hard as her husband to find ways to keep her family going in good times and in bad. She was the glue. When her health no longer allowed her to keep things held together, the loss of that presence was felt. It’s true; you so often realize what you miss when it’s gone.
She was cared for by a doctor who cared enough to come by the house, and nurses who made their rounds. To the PSW care workers who made their shift, we Thank-you, and to the ones who did that plus a bit extra, there are no words to express the gratitude. Through the stories, pictures, and our own little ways, we have tried to express our Thanks. You, and a couple of special people, who jumped in when Ron passed, allowed a promise to be kept.
Speaking of Ron’s passing, an oversight during those harried times omitted mention of “Ronsister’s” Marion, Mary-Jean, Molly-Ann, and Elaine. She would be happy that her eulogy would provide a chance to try and fix that. Her tent was big where there was not a rating or distinction for in-laws. “Ron’s Mom and Dad” were close and admired. All of it was about Family, and we, her family were the benefactors.
Current conditions do not afford the opportunities to speak these words, and so we share them in print. Every day, literally, every day, she would do something for someone else. Doing the same for someone you know during these times would honour her. Thank-you
Memorial donations may be made to the Alzheimer’s Society of Canada and may be made by contacting Ostrander’s Funeral Home Limited, 43 Bidwell St., Tillsonburg, ON, N4G 3T6, (519) 842-5221 who have been entrusted with arrangements.
Personal condolences and favourite memories can be made at www.ostrandersfuneralhome.com in memory of Betty.
September 21, 1941 – January 28, 2021
“It is what it is” she would say after regaining her composure…she knew she had Alzheimer’s and could feel it taking a grip. She asked two things of us. #1) That we try everything medically to help her know her family for as long as possible. #2) That she be able to pass at home, with “her people”. Her family was her everything.
She adored her parents, Alvin and Helen Loucks and felt privileged to be a Daddy’s Girl growing up. She was proud of her brothers, and we would get a sense of how meaningful their spouses were by the way she would conjoin their names in conversation; it was “LarrynWiz”, and “GordnBettyLee”, all in one word. Through stories she gave life to the brother who lost his life young in a car accident…it was like “Bud” was a part of our family growing up and that name is still used in our family in a special way.
She met and married Ron Howe at a young age and her own family would reap benefits for decades with that head start. She brought three little “Hellions” into the world (her word as she chased us around the house with a fly swatter) and would parent a daughter as well. James and Wendy, Craig and Susan, David and Rose, Tammy and Theo would pay her back with the precious grandchildren and great grandchildren that meant, simply everything to her. She would form special and personal bonds with each of them. One might tattoo her name on his arm; another might still call the stuff you pour on pancakes “Dippety Do”. Another might go to work, and discover in a meeting that the word “byecky” is not really a word. She left her mark on them; her love for her grandchildren and great grandchildren was simple and pure.
She worked as hard as her husband to find ways to keep her family going in good times and in bad. She was the glue. When her health no longer allowed her to keep things held together, the loss of that presence was felt. It’s true; you so often realize what you miss when it’s gone.
She was cared for by a doctor who cared enough to come by the house, and nurses who made their rounds. To the PSW care workers who made their shift, we Thank-you, and to the ones who did that plus a bit extra, there are no words to express the gratitude. Through the stories, pictures, and our own little ways, we have tried to express our Thanks. You, and a couple of special people, who jumped in when Ron passed, allowed a promise to be kept.
Speaking of Ron’s passing, an oversight during those harried times omitted mention of “Ronsister’s” Marion, Mary-Jean, Molly-Ann, and Elaine. She would be happy that her eulogy would provide a chance to try and fix that. Her tent was big where there was not a rating or distinction for in-laws. “Ron’s Mom and Dad” were close and admired. All of it was about Family, and we, her family were the benefactors.
Current conditions do not afford the opportunities to speak these words, and so we share them in print. Every day, literally, every day, she would do something for someone else. Doing the same for someone you know during these times would honour her. Thank-you
Memorial donations may be made to the Alzheimer’s Society of Canada and may be made by contacting Ostrander’s Funeral Home Limited, 43 Bidwell St., Tillsonburg, ON, N4G 3T6, (519) 842-5221 who have been entrusted with arrangements.
Personal condolences and favourite memories can be made at www.ostrandersfuneralhome.com in memory of Betty.